I feel the need to come clean here: having many times attempted suicide (both through reckless, manic behavior and more deliberate acts), and having lost the desire to live for long periods of depression, I still posted that text helpline number when Anthony Bourdain committed suicide. Do I know that texting a hotline is not going to replace real, human compassion? Yes. Do I know that it often does end up being a police/ER situation? Yes. Did I feel at the time that it might have saved a life? I did. Your article is making me re-think that.

When I was at my most desperate: manic, delusional, suicidal and tbh, spiraling up into homicidal — I purposely caused a car accident and ended up in a mental ward. So this is the lens through which I view the helplines. Unlike lots of people, I had a positive experience with the mental health system in that they kept me from killing myself or someone else. I was at rock-bottom and they gave me just enough stability that I could climb out of it. I realize most people don’t have that experience.

In my current depression, no way would I want someone pushing me to call a helpline. There’s no help for me in the ER or the police station. You’re right, it’s dehumanizing and takes agency away from the person. Nobody can “fix” anyone else. Thank you for reminding me of that.