Ooh I’m so glad you wrote this. I so relate. I watched my own mother sink into anger’s dark, concave side: depression. After my dad left her for another woman, she was strangely (and distantly) kind to him, but was unable to “keep it together” in private, crawling into bed for long periods to cry. She did heal, and she did eventually express anger. But at three years old I absorbed her feelings for what they were and began to rage externally. I spat in people’s faces, stomped on their feet, and howled I HATE YOU at my mother’s friends. I began to beat up little boys, punching and kicking and scratching. I have to say: I think I peaked at four(!)

It took a long time to get from that angry kid, through the modifications of school and society, back to an angry, expressive woman. Thanks for pointing out the differences between women and men, black men and white men, black women and white everyone. It’s an eye-opener and I hope it spreads.