Thank you for writing this. And, the thing you said about head doctors: spot-on. I’ve been through shrink after shrink for over 20 years. It took them that long to figure out I had BP1; for ages they insisted I was “depressed” (I was, sometimes) or had PTSD (I probably do) but nothing helped. Everything they did made it worse. I tried to tell them my body kept shrinking and growing like Alice in Wonderland. Or that I had heard a voice I couldn’t explain. Or that I saw a tiger in the hallway. They kind of patted my head and sent me on my way with some antidepressants.

It took several suicide attempts and a psychotic break before someone actually listened. I am so glad, now, to have a psychiatrist that actually listens to me and knows how to maneuver the meds to keep me steady. Life is better than it’s been since I was 12 years old. I feel good about being in the present moment.

Again, thanks for writing this. I think by giving people permission to feel terrible, or even feel nothing at all, you remove an awful stigma. We shouldn’t have to hide who we are and what we feel.