Your writing is beautiful, and your life — also beautiful. I completely understand the desire to be seen and noticed by an Other. Speaking from the perspective of someone in a long relationship, my life is also not being witnessed. I think witnessing comes from a place of genuine curiosity and care, and not everyone can give that. But pushing 50 doesn’t mean you can’t find it. Hold it for yourself, keep writing, and it will appear. Maybe it will look different to how you imagined, but it’s there for you.
PS I like your chairs!